Think about how much of your day goes to the list. The fix-it list. The improve-it list. The morning routine you should be doing, the food you should be eating, the habit you're trying to break, the version of yourself you're trying to upgrade.
We are so busy chasing the next better version that we lose sight of who is already here. Already working. Already good.
Here's a question I've been sitting with for a few weeks now: who is the one person you almost never give a pat on the back to? Who is the one person you forget to admire?
You.
So I started playing with something. Not an affirmation. Not a wish. Not a thing I'm trying to talk myself into believing. Just a list of plain facts about what I actually love about myself.
I love my ears. Really. I think they are great ears.
I love the sound of my voice on recordings.
I love my arms.
I love how capable I am.
I love that I can drive backwards really well.
Notice what's on that list and what isn't. There is nothing on it about being thinner. Nothing about being younger. Nothing about a goal I'm working toward. It's just stuff that is already true about me, today, in this body, at this age, in this life.
That's the practice.
Try it
Get a piece of paper or open a notes app or just shout it from your window.
It has to be true right now. Not "when I lose ten pounds." Not once I have finished the project. Right now.
It can be anything. Your laugh. Your handwriting. The way you remember birthdays. Your knees. Your taste in music. You always have gum in your bag. Your ears.
It does not have to be impressive. It just has to be yours.
Don't edit. Don't soften. Don't add a "but." If you write "I love my hands," do not follow it with "even though they're getting older." Just stop at hands.
Why this matters
We spend so much time in the gap between who we are and who we think we should be. That gap is where the wellness industry lives. It's where most of our self-talk lives. It's exhausting, and the goal never closes because it keeps moving.
Loving what is already here does not mean giving up on growth. It's the opposite. It's the ground you grow from. You cannot soften in your life from a place of constant self-criticism. You can only soften when you say, "I'm already someone worth softening for."
So tell me. What do you love about yourself?
You are the one person you have to live with for the rest of your life. You may as well like the company.
XO
Jacqui