September 21st isn't just another day on the calendar—it's National Women's Friendship Day. But honestly, I'd call it National Women's "You Are My Lifeline" Day. And Alexis and I missed it this year. Why? We were deep in the soup of friendship.
The Reality of Midlife Loneliness
The statistics are staggering, and if you're feeling lonely in your mid life years, you're far from the only one. Research shows that nearly 40% of women report feeling an increase in feelings of loneliness as they move through menopause, while about one-third of U.S. adults age 45 and older report feeling lonely.
For many of us, kids are starting life as young adults or teenagers. We may be taking care of aging parents. Our bodies might begin to feel foreign. The list goes on and on. Studies show that 60% of women report a significant dip in self-confidence during perimenopause and menopause, with a staggering 44% avoiding social situations for fear of being judged or feeling unattractive.
My Personal Journey: When Community Became Everything
I was feeling completely alone in perimenopause. I felt like my body had turned against me, and I felt confused and not sure who to call and what to do about this daily feeling of dread that had come over me. That's when I reached out to Alexis for help. She didn't hesitate. She spent time listening and figuring out how to help. I had asked her to help me come up with a way to both solve my terrible bloating and weight gain and help me get my protein in, which I was really struggling with.
But here's where the magic of women's friendships really showed itself: when we decided to offer our protein powder online, we invited women we trusted to try it first. We received the most honest, most loving feedback from friends like Lisa and Joy. I still look back on their notes to inspire us to keep going.
As a 100% women-owned and operated business, some days can be challenging. But together, we are stronger. That's the power of community.
How Friendships Evolve During Life Transitions
During Career Changes Whether you're climbing the corporate ladder, starting your own business, or making a career pivot, friendships become your sounding board and support system. A survey by the American Psychological Association found that 61% of working women between the ages of 40-60 felt they had to hide their symptoms or struggles, fearing that revealing their menopausal experience would hinder their career progress. Having trusted friends who understand your journey becomes invaluable.
Through Menopause and Perimenopause The hormonal changes we experience don't just affect our bodies—they impact our relationships too. As women's levels of loneliness increase, so too do their menopausal symptoms. But the flip side is also true: strong friendships can actually help ease this transition. Having women who "get it" makes all the difference.
During Family Transitions Empty nest syndrome is real. Being the the trenches personally with this one in this moment has really surprised me. Having your child leave for college means you're left with more free time for yourself. Some see it as an opportunity to focus on themselves, but others struggle to create an identity beyond the role of parent. This is when friendships can help you rediscover who you are beyond motherhood.
The Science Behind Why Women's Friendships Matter
The research is clear: Adults with strong social connections have a lower risk of many health problems. That includes depression, high blood pressure and an unhealthy weight. Studies have found that older adults who have close friends and healthy social supports are likely to live longer than do their peers who have fewer friends.
Even more fascinating, the optimal number of friends to maximize health and wellbeing is five. It's not about having hundreds of acquaintances—it's about having deep, meaningful connections with a core group of women who truly understand you.
Social connection can improve mental health and indirectly trigger a more positive appraisal of threats. In other words, when you have strong friendships, life's challenges literally feel more manageable.
Making New Connections: Real-Life Examples That Work
If you're feeling isolated or want to expand your circle, here are some practical ways to make new connections. Not just practical - ones I have tried myself or that friends have directly shared with me:
Join a Bridge Club - Bridge is intellectually challenging and creates natural conversation opportunities. Don't let the complexity intimidate you—that's what makes it so engaging and worth exploring. This is a tight knit group and most cities have beginner’s bridge club. You will be surprised by all the action taking place. It also makes up for missing game nights with the family. That is what I heard directly from a friend going through a few big life changes. Bridge became her life line.
Take Up Tennis or Pickleball - I started playing tennis in my late 40s, and it's been an incredible experience. The tennis community is welcoming, and there's something powerful about learning a new skill alongside others doing the same. Pickleball is a great choice since you can literally learn it in a few hours go to some local courts and just drip into a game. Highly recommend it. That’s how I met my life partner 4 years ago.
Show Up at a Yoga Class - The regularity creates familiarity, and the shared experience of practice creates natural bonds.
Be a Regular at the Dog Park - Show up at the same time every day. Dog owners are naturally friendly, and you already have something in common.
Take Adult Education Classes - Local colleges often offer continuing education programs where you'll meet people interested in learning and growing.
Join Walking or Hiking Groups - Many communities have organized groups, and the side-by-side nature of walking makes conversation feel natural and less intimidating.
Connect Online First - Join Facebook groups related to your interests, your community, or your life stage. While online connections aren't a replacement for in-person relationships, they can be a starting point.
A Message from Our Hearts to Yours
Without the community of women in my life on the daily, life would be much harder. If XO Jacqui has become somewhat of a foundation of your daily health routine, thank you. Please reach out with any questions or thoughts—we answer every email and read every email. We care a great deal about what we are putting out into the world, and we hope it's enhancing the quality of your life.
Building Your Support Network: Start Today
Remember, making and keeping good friends takes effort. The pleasure, comfort and health benefits you can get from friends make it worth the effort. It's never too late to nurture existing friendships or create new ones.
Here's what you can do today:
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Reach out to one friend you haven't talked to in a while
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Sign up for one activity where you'll meet new people
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Be open to invitations, even when you don't feel like it
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Share your story—vulnerability creates connection
Reach out to us anytime at hello@xojacqui.com. And have a beautiful day.